Wanted a party to vote for

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Wanted a party

no not that one

where you drink and you have a good time

what is wanted is a serious party

which would suit this new India

and would do no crime

No I dont want those who are more about ‘Ram’ and his dosts

Lord Rama is all powerful

he does not need my vote

from politics god can take some break

There is no food security

forget dude cake

Party in power is all too strong

it does no right and accepts no wrong

opposition we so much miss

for principal opposition

ignorance is bliss

they come out on street on price rise

but to fight stupid legislations

they don’t prove wise

Our government may not give us any food

Their law is a sham and to poor it is rude

 I need some choice

I ,powerless, have no right to recall

and an ancient party which is in opposition

needs  overhaul

 

Shame:Use of Force against Baba Ramdev

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Why an Anna Hazare gets immidiate audience and power to choose members of a Bill Panel and a Baba Ramdev brutal force??? Would now only those get to express protest who are doing it in the interest of and terms laid by and script dictated by the CONGRESS??? Bachpan mein pada tha its a democracy!Kitaab galat thi ya Sarkaar galat hai?Choose faster u may lose ur freedom!

Jan Lokpal Bill: Good old man fasted for a Bad Bad Bill!

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It played out loud on national TV weeks ago and nobody including our politicians give a heck to it today. Well why would anybody when there is so much to talk and twitter about (IPL, Osama Dead)

A Gandhian from Ralegan Sidhdhi who in this model village flogged people to make them quit alcohol decided to skip meals until his version of Jan Lokpal Bill was considered by the government.

And the government, which already had a minister in jail for corruption, saw in this a safety valve to protect itself from the ever-increasing heat and what it would do? It happily welcomed five civil society members (where definition of civil society is still a question of wide debate) into a committee, which has no representation from opposition or other parties in parliament to discuss the draft of the much-needed bill.

To begin the discussion starting point was a much-flawed draft of the bill (Jan Lokpal Bill Version 2.2). These gentlemen and a lady have  done a better job to point out the flaws of the bill and the anti-corruption movement::

Shekhar Gupta, Editor Indian Express: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/we-the-thieving-people/780109/

Justice AP Shah & Venkatesh Nayak, Co-Convener National Campaign on People’s RTI: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/a-gigantic-institution-that-draws-powers-from-a-statute-based-on-questionable-principles/778433/0

Mridula Mukherjee, Professor, Modern Indian History, JNU: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/why-this-freedom-is-false/780101/4

Now the meetings of the ‘committee’ are underway and the second in the series took place on Monday. For now there is an agreement on the need to chalk out basic principles first.

But a thorough reading of the bill and its critique gave me jitters. I just pray to dear government (and legislature) that indulge in as much corruption that satiates you but do not pass this bill in its present form else how would we deal with an act because of which 11 people would investigate, prosecute, punish, ensure compliance, punish for contempt, tap phones, issue search warrants, tell Supreme Court what to do and order president when to sign!!! This bill seems to be drafted by Rajnikanth but for it Hazare went on fast!

Sirf India TV Par!

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Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khyal aata hai

abey yeh India TV ka sensible hone mein kya jata hai?

Naa inke babaon ki bhabhuti kabhi khatm hoti hai

Naa inki anchor comedy news padne mein roti hai

Dikhne mein toh India TV wale bhi lagte hai normal

magar khabren dete hain bindaas naaki formal

khabar unhe kehne mein bhi sharm aati hai

mujhe kya kiski murgi khud ande deke khud hi khati hai😛

Darr jata hai dil

akele mein rota hai

jab bhi inka koi baba live tv pe hota hai

brush nahi karte aise baba saalo

bachche kehna nahi maante toh aise babaon se darwa lo

baar baar chilla chilla ke kehti rehti hai anchor

Shahrukh aur salmaan ki koi ladai hui hai bhayankar

aap sochte hain nayi ladai hui hogi

aap chipak ke dekhne lag jate hain

aur yeh purani ladai ke video edit kar k

nayi headline k sang dikhate hain

Kabhi kabhi koi story tum achchi bhi dikhate ho

Aaapki adalat mein rajat sharmaji aap audience ka dil le jate ho

aapka style of journalism hai anokha

ise barbaad na hone dijiye

important issues ko highlight kar ke

janta ka thank you lijiye

aap hain special aur special hain aapki khabar

ab kuch serious kamaal dikhaiye sirf India TV par😀

Khuda tu kahan hai?

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Kabse pareshaan hai
Dil yeh soch ke
Kyun sab kuch hai mere paas
Bas chain ki kami hai
Na dil toota hai na sapne toote
Na hi khushiyon ki kami hai
Phir bhi na jane kyun is dil mein
Mayusi aur gami hai
Janta bhi hai yeh dil
Is gamm ki vajah kya hai
Par bechara badi mushkil mein pada hai
Banane wale ne bana ke duniya mein supply kar diya
Kabhi upar se khabar li is bande ki nahi
Pal bhar ke rishte pal bhar ki khushi toh bahut di
Magar khud ko kabhi mujhse na milaya
Is vyast jindagi mein fans kar mujhe prabhu tera khyal kyun naa aaya
Ek dafe toh tu bhi kadam bada
Aaj toh khud se is bande ko mila!

Mera Neta Chor Hai!

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Note: Kripya post ka size dekh ke ghabraye nahi! lekhak ki bhawanaon se jyada desh-prem ki duhai  hai aapko😛

We don’t say I love you as many times to our beloved ones as we  say these four magical words of ‘Saare neta chor hain’ in our entire lifetime. It is a simple quick and easy way to hide our ignorance of the state of affairs and turning the attention to better topics of discussion like why Dhoni came to bat before Yuvraj or if Poonam Pandey would strip at all.

Raja looted the nation, journalists considered respectable fixed ministers in cabinets and in your own locality that sweeper from municipality extorted money every month inspite of getting paid salary from the very taxes you have paid but you had just one dialogue to utter! Mera Neta Chor Hai.

Neta is chor but problem lies more with chors becoming neta. This attitude of ours with which we paint politicians as untouchables rowdy corrupt assholes and politics as the ‘ganda naala’ has led to creation of a comfort zone for politicians. While you and I consider being aware as only knowing what is the scam of the week but score of the day, these politicians make politics look tougher than rocket science and make us realize time and again that what they are doing is something very very technical. In reality what a politician does is very simple. Country owns the resources and it has to prosper together (Those who don’t agree may change the nation😛 ) and we by way of vote choose who would manage resources better and develop the country the best. Everything else is just sham. Everything is deliberately made to look complex. Media deliberately makes pages on politics look dull and boring while those with entertainment bright and smooth. Similarly in electronic media popular anchors frame simple questions technically and irritate you big time so that you give up understanding what governance, politics, elections are all about. As I am writing this I am quite very sure that many people of my age if they are reading this they would be secretly smiling over how they do exactly the same!

Alright not everybody has to know politics inside out but we all agree that ours is a special country. We have a large population of youth who are counted by academicians as demographic dividend. We are at the forefront on every count. India won world cup we reached India gate the first and when Anna Hazare kept his fast unto death we were the first ones to reach Jantar-Mantar too or atleast support him somehow.

Hazare did a noble thing and he reminded us of how we won our freedom but eh wait! Who is Hazare by the way? Did we vote for him? We did not! What is he fighting for? Civil Society’s version of Lokpal Bill (Jan Lokpal Bill). Why do we support him? Because he is fighting corruption! Okeh now hold on and let me laugh for a second! A member of civil society out of nowhere sits on a fast unto death and gets to nominate half of the committee members to discuss the draft of the proposed bill? If this is the case and this way is right then why not you and I sit on another fast unto death tomorrow and arm-twist the government into passing a universal food security act this monsoon session?

You think the government would relent? Noh😛 You think media would give us the same attention? No😛 Then what was so great about Anna and his cause that he immediately struck all the right chords. This is a pertinent question to which many answers have been given till now:

  1. World Cup was over and IPL was still far so media had spare attention and look what wonders it did!
  2. UPA 2 was big time screwed up with never ending allegations of corruption (2G Adarsh society, CWG, Cash for vote: wikileaks expose etc etc) and staring it in the face were elections in four states so how to become patit paawan from raawan? Lets make a deal with ‘civil society’, call somebody to give up food and act like you don’t care and then finally show care and emerge as a corrupt government, which is repenting sachche dil se!
  3. Another startling reason is that the so called civil society behind the Jan Lokpal revolution is actually a cunning group of elites who are sowing the seeds of dictatorship in the country by pushing for a superman ka beta types Lokpal who would ultimately turn a dictator. This is a major game plan and media is a very important player in this. (Fully endorsed by organizations who are now sitting on Jantar-Mantar to protest against Jan Lokpal bill bole toh protest ka protest :P)

 

Going through the above listed reasons I am sure if not a lot but atleast a little that you would question the Hazare fever and the intention behind the drama that played loud and wide in the last few days.

I am quite naïve to point fingers or even guess the real reason for the sudden ‘janta ki pukar- bhrashtachaar ke khilaaf’ but one thing which I am sure about is my belief in the system. While people my age are taking up MBAs and working hard to spin money I am happy to understand this more and from close. I happen to be a little closer than atleast a few of you and I can claim that India is poised to make it big and it would only happen because some of our brightest minds had the passion and conviction of joining politics or atleast following it and a never ending belief in the checks and balances of the democracy assured to us by a constitution so wonderful and a system so great!

Someone please Love me Madly and Deeply :P

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Someone please love me madly and deeply

Confidence in my girly charms I have completely lost
Ice on my female heart desperately needs a de-frost

In my looks I no more believe
God don’t knw holds wat up his sleeves

My interest in academics is giving way to Love-Make
Beautiful creatures approach me for heaven’s sake

I am done with the chores of dis life
Now amuses me the idea of being a housewife

Lemme know how it feels to be perfect for someone
With my fat, my pimples and the patches of sun-burn

Let the tinkling of I-Love-You ring the bells of my heart
Let love become my routine’s integral part

Let me feel the warmth in somebody’s arms
I shud no more feel like a pig in a farm 😛😛😛😛😛😛

The Power of Desi

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Haanji toh point is I am not doing enough for my nation. It pains me big time and it should pain you too if all you care about is naukri & chokri. Boyfren Girlfren bahut banenge.You would even get so many jobs to earn your salary but desh??? Desh toh kewal ek hota hai😛

So here I have carefully selected few problems which are screwing us up big time and  have put forward the desiest solution possible:

Problem One: Permanent UNSC Seat dedo baba

Well China has it, Russia has it , US has it France has it and UK also has it and its not lycra but the most coveted seat in the world (PM ki Kursi se bhi jyada😀 )

Now Russia supports us, France Supports us, UK supports us and even US supported us too (Mama Obama gave this promise) but China hai ki manta nahi!

Solution: Pick up the Chinese in power and jeb garam kar do ji unki😛

Problem Two: Pakistan covertly supporting terror on our land and does not even accept this!

Solution: Send Haryana Police with a little garnishing of Delhi police too!They beat such shit out of you that You would confess to a crime you neva even heard of fir yeh gunaah toh Pak ne sare-aam kiya hai😀

Problem Three: China’s growing economic clout

Haan ji toh paisa toh padosi k paas aata achcha hi nahi lagta Indians ko😉😛

Ek toh paisa upar se China just hates us and bullies us and even eyes land on our side! poor we.

Solution: Mamta ko wahan bhej do😛 She would not actually go she would remain in Bengal (You know she does not go to Train Bhawan either😉 ) but Industry ko Bhagane ke liye inka toh naam hi kaafi hai and yeah Add Raja for best results J

Problem Four: India getting cursed by western powers for not doing enough in Libya.

Solution: Lets send Lalu there. When Libyans wud see Lalu ruling, out of fear dey may settle for even Gaddafi😛 Problem solved with no blood-shed yay😀 

 

Blueline Phaseout: A Tribute to Conductors

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RIP

Slowly slowly Blueline buses would die a silent death.They were killers but when there was no Metro and very few DTCs, these buses made commuting in Delhi possible and amazingly economical.Now when their permits will not be renewed, then as and when their permits expire, they will stop plying in the capital.

Their was something very cute about the Blueline buses and their conductors. While drivers were mostly busy driving carefully(Very Very subjective opinion😉 ), conductors who were mostly young men all in their early twenties used to keep the passengers and fellow traffic on the street in check.You mess up with them and they will graphically abuse you.Even a little stare from you would make them shout back at you with a “Oye kya dekh raha hai?Utar doonga neeche abhi”.That typical look of ‘Dilli mere baap ki hai’ on their face made them so powerful yet so weak.I really wonder what most of them will turn to now?

Here I make a musical tribute to them by presenting the songs I heard the most in rickety crowdy bluelines:

Long time ago when Sheila was not jawan and Munni still meant a kid, there existed superb work of explicit lyrics, ear blasting music and almost porn albeit draped in saari. These songs kept conductor bhaiyas entertained in their monotonous job of ‘ticket-kaatna’, ‘paan thookna’ and ofcourse pange leke gaali bakna!These songs helped me too  as I won antaksharis (because nobody knew these songs existed and those who knew could not memorize so finely😛 ) and shaped up my street smart personality a great deal.

This attempt is not to disrespect the conductor community.I genuinely wanted to share the songs which they totally endure and even I ended up liking! Because every third grade jhintak song  is asli Indian ki pasand😀

‘Shadi tujhi se ho meri’

Film: Aankhen Actors: Shilpa Shirodkar, Ritu Shivpuri &  ofcourse Govinda! 

This song literally translates to: This is my only wish in life that I should be married to you even if I die on the day of the marriage😛 Quite Romantic ahan!

‘Pardesi pardesi jana nahi’

Film: Raja Hindustani Actors: Karishma & Aamir

Karishma is a rich beautiful girl and Aamir ahem a driver. Chances in negative that such thing would eva happen in real life but quite a fantasy for the driver log and ofcourse a runaway hit for Dharmesh Darshan (Mela Film starring Aamir  , an attempt by him to make a tragic story makes us laugh even today :P) 

‘Shadi ke baad mein mar jaun…Kunwara nahi marna’

Film: Jaan Actors: Twinkle & Ajay Devgn

‘Shadi’ apparently is so important that even death gota wait for it 😛 By the way film crashed but this song touched the roof of buses!

‘Angna mein baba’

Film: Aankhen Actors: Shilpa Shirodkar & Govinda

This song suggests you that if your parents are not home call a guy😛

‘Saare ladkon ki kardo shadi’

Film: Deewana Mujhsa Nahi Actors: Madhuri Dixit & Aamir Khan

Oh yeah!Shadi again! Conductors bhai log used to sing along the song although the songs has female vocals probably they imagined that somewhere this girl is wishing the same and they are the guy to be left for her  :D

‘Tere Naam’

Film: Tere Naam Actors: Salman Khan & Bhumika Chawla

Salman is their bhai and whosoeva salman dates gets to inspire the interiors of the bus with her almost lifesize posters😛 So earlier when it was Ais-warya Bhabhi in Nimboda dress now it is Katrina Bhabhi who adores their homes n bus n heart!A very special mention here of the ‘tere naam’ hairstyle when every conductor and similar species could be seen sporting long hair with mid parting.I so miss those days Nirjala  :P

 From the core of my heart I would miss those free-spirited bhaiyas who yelled Haan bhai kahan ka ticket kaatu?Abey chal paanch ki nahi lagti!Jab se rate bade hain dus rupye lagte hain!Oye ghana mat ban!seat nahi hai..Itni hai toh ghar se lekar aaya karo😛 “Oho Madam angreji mein tid bit mat karo..yes thank you humein bhi aata hai!” “oye jara Sa-id hoja bheed macha raakhi hai!yeh sawari bhi na bhed bakri aayi hai kahin se ”😛

Bluelines may go away from the streets but never would they go away from the public memory for they made it possible for a wage earning labourer from Bawana to travel all the way to Nehru Place for as low as Rs. Ten only..!

“Woh haath ke ishare pe

Bina stop bhi ruk jana tera

bahut yaad aaega

Kahin bhi mud jana tera”

Don’t Mind

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One day my mind betrayed me

And so I went to my heart

All in tears the poor baby

Played a good host’s part

“Where the mind has gone to”, I enquired

Heart replied I don’t know, we are not wired

I said you might not have any connection

But you live in the same home

Heart said we never meet and

We never catch up if Mind is US, I am Rome

No luck here for me I thought and was just going to leave

When heart suddenly said something which me and my mind could not belive

Your eyes sent me a photograph and your palms a touch

It was heavenly it was so true I have never felt such

And that my heart got a connection with his heart

And they beat now together even after it depart

This time I was not on a cross road

Only heart was here and mind out of abode

Did I have a choice?

No

So with heart I had to go

If mind would not have left

Would I still have gone with heart?

This is when my mind came back, said I was afraid

To accept the love and the things to follow

Which is why I left

It was the time for me to put my apprehensions and fears to rest!